If you are just joining or reading this - read part I first.
My day usually begins with a horrifying sound, that makes my heart skip a beat. The next thought is pain, how much is it going to hurt to terminate the horrifying noise for another few minutes of sleep? The first few steps of the day usually sets the standard for the day, however, there are 3 tornadoes (my kids) that can alter anything.
My oldest is almost 16, middle son is 13, and the youngest is almost 11. My oldest has quite a few issues and has been difficult to manage being disabled. The middle guy is the wise guy and instigator of most events (although my oldest doesn't always need or require an instigator to be set off). The youngest is usually the victim - but, he too be manipulative and over emotional. My first duty of the morning is keeping the drama at bay. There is a lot of drama. Before most families get their first sips of coffee, I probably have 3 or more arguments, taken away utensils used in the wrong way, heard bickering to nth degree - do you get it I am STRESSED OUT!
My task is daunting if not impossible most days. The kids feed after one another and it snowball into physical altercations. They have to be in the car by 7:45 to get to school on time (they attend a private Christian school). Mornings are so STRESSFUL - By the time I return home (if I didn't run any errands after dropping them off) I am exhausted. I get home maybe 5 - 10 minutes and the phone starts ringing. I would love the lovely friends to call and chit chat (even those get interrupted). This child did this in school today, we need you to come in, or my personal favorite is your child made a list - you need to come NOW. There is always something going on (mostly negative) and prevents me from doing enjoyable home tasks. I have to put my friends on the calendar when I have lunch with them.
My life would be this way injured or not - but, no joke we feel that it unraveled our oldest beyond the brink. I understand there are chemical imbalance stuff going on, but when I wasn't allow to bear weight for all those months - he lost it and attacked me. The injury affects me, but it really had a crushing effect on my family.
WC (Workman's compensation) is wonderful for injuries requiring one or two steps. For patients who need much more care (like myself) should be able to make decisions regarding medical care that wouldn't affect coverage. Let me explain. A doctor recommends to surgically place plates, screws, and rods to fix or repair my damage to my foot,(this can't be done, it is just an example) but I learn that I have to give up running, volleyball, and most other stuff that is life to me. If I turn down that surgery - WC can close down my case and I am out of luck, my coverage stops and my paychecks stop. WC controls everything from who you see, when you see, how often you will see, and what will be done. You object to anything - case closed.
I would like to see some changes to protect us the patients. Right now the laws protect the insurance company and believe me when I say it isn't worth getting hurt at work. There is NO big pay out - Trust me! I had so many doctors with PHYSICAL proof that NO ONE PERSON on the planet could fake. I think the laws should change once there is proof of circulatory, temp regulation issues, loss of hair, loss of feeling, a limb looking dead - is a fairly good indication that more needs to be done and the patient isn't faking. Not that I want to endure another surgery, but if it would make my leg sturdier, stronger and make it possible for me to run and play - I should be able to make that decision and WC pay for it.
There are many people being hurt at work everyday - WC is NOT easy to deal with - they think right from the start that the injured is faking it. They are nasty, and down right control freaks and they will blatantly tell you that - they control ALL of your medical care. So if you have a chance to speak up to make changes - you may be helping a lot of families get the care they desperately need. It would be nice if WC and long term patients can cooperate together for the common good of what the patient needs.
Showing posts with label government. Show all posts
Showing posts with label government. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Thursday, April 7, 2011
What's in a daybility part 1
A friend had asked me the other day - what do I do all day long? So, what is it, that I do ALL day long. I will tell you right off the bat, that I do NOT have the homemaker gene at all. I don't cook and cleaning has been very limited due to a work related injury. It has been 6 years and I am still suffering, but I am learning everyday how to cope and to try to manage all of my old tasks. Things take much longer. So, much of my day is consumed by my own demons and thoughts of old ways vs. trying new, longer, and sometimes painful way of doing chores.
It was a cold ice biting evening, but I loved working. I might have loved the independance, the seeing other individuals and having adult conversations, but I really did enjoy my work, my job. The month was March of 2005 and it was a bitter cold night. I arrived 30 - 40 minutes early like every night - I took pride in having my truck ready before the official start of the shift. I hated backups and having to clear jams and I had the busiest truck in the complex. I had helped a few new people in how to check, set-up and start their shift as my supervisor had asked me to. It came time for me to set up my truck and I had no idea that setting up my truck would change the rest of my life forever.
I did all the necessary checking and safety checks and unlocked my stack of rollers (they weigh over 400 lbs) releasing my life changing event. The whole stack of rollers fell about 3ft (400lbs) pinning my left foot to the metal scaffolding. There were 5 or so men, who heard the stack of rollers fall it took all of them to get my leg, out from underneath. It wasn't until several weeks later (after an MRI was done) I was finally diagnosed with a severe crush injury and prognosis was questionable depending on treatment plan. My first surgery was scheduled in October of 2005 (already on 3rd doctor) and all this time I was non-bearing weight (crutches ONLY with a removable cam cast). Thank goodness for workman's compensation (WC) they were so on top of my treatment plan (um, for those who don't know me - this is a sarcastic comment). Finally, in December I was able to take my first painful steps.
9 months of no walking or physical therapy I think sealed the fate of a bleak prognosis. You really can't fix a crush injury, to begin with. My bones didn't break, they gave in (stayed crushed, they didn't bounce back into place) to the force (of 400lbs) and my whole body has to bear weight (that kept increasing by the day) on a very weak foundation that couldn't be rebuilt. There was supposed to be a second and possibly a third surgery to fuse as many bones together in my ankle and foot to create a stronger foundation, but WC kept switching from one doctor to the next, to the next in a 3 year span there were over 10 specialists involved. There was only 1 doctor that thought I was completely faking the injury. Praise the Lord, nobody considered that quacks report, there was too much medical evidence to prove differently.
There was a court case, but no money could replace what was lost that fateful night. The so called case sucked the life out of me, a once active mother of 3 boys was forced to sit on the side line of life to keep watch. I don't live life - I am forced to watch it. I can't make my own medical decision to "make" my life better - WC has to and that money I settled on wouldn't cover the anesthesiologist if I choose to pay for my own treatment, but the reality is; it is too late - these options were offered earlier on - you have to wait for approval and if the next doctor didn't mention the same treatment plan, I had to go along with the new doctor and forget about the doctor that really wanted to help me.
So, here I sit, gaining weight by the minute (probably seconds) and watch the world go by and not a thing I can do about it. My fate was sealed that day, I went to work March 2, 2005. I am on so much medication for every malady one could have. I have aged nearly 40 years in 6 long years. Common things like showering and sleeping are tough and taking on those tasks are difficult. To describe how painful it is to shower (does NO justice) but, a woman can probably compare it to a bikini waxing lasting 15 minutes (just the hair pulling out part, depending on the day, it could make my eyes water). I don't look forward to any day - I wish I could stay asleep for more than 2.5 - 3 hours at a time. I tell people all the time just put an IV in; trank me enough for 6 months - put me in a box and on a shelf - I dream of hibernation.
Up next, Daybility part II. What is in my day? What do I do ALL day long? Has anything changed? but more importantly I will be talking to my readers; here in NJ and how they can help make changes to current WC laws. Right now the law protects the insurance companies, not the patients. You never know if or when a life changing injury will happen, while you are working; are you and your family prepared? Until next time...
It was a cold ice biting evening, but I loved working. I might have loved the independance, the seeing other individuals and having adult conversations, but I really did enjoy my work, my job. The month was March of 2005 and it was a bitter cold night. I arrived 30 - 40 minutes early like every night - I took pride in having my truck ready before the official start of the shift. I hated backups and having to clear jams and I had the busiest truck in the complex. I had helped a few new people in how to check, set-up and start their shift as my supervisor had asked me to. It came time for me to set up my truck and I had no idea that setting up my truck would change the rest of my life forever.
I did all the necessary checking and safety checks and unlocked my stack of rollers (they weigh over 400 lbs) releasing my life changing event. The whole stack of rollers fell about 3ft (400lbs) pinning my left foot to the metal scaffolding. There were 5 or so men, who heard the stack of rollers fall it took all of them to get my leg, out from underneath. It wasn't until several weeks later (after an MRI was done) I was finally diagnosed with a severe crush injury and prognosis was questionable depending on treatment plan. My first surgery was scheduled in October of 2005 (already on 3rd doctor) and all this time I was non-bearing weight (crutches ONLY with a removable cam cast). Thank goodness for workman's compensation (WC) they were so on top of my treatment plan (um, for those who don't know me - this is a sarcastic comment). Finally, in December I was able to take my first painful steps.
9 months of no walking or physical therapy I think sealed the fate of a bleak prognosis. You really can't fix a crush injury, to begin with. My bones didn't break, they gave in (stayed crushed, they didn't bounce back into place) to the force (of 400lbs) and my whole body has to bear weight (that kept increasing by the day) on a very weak foundation that couldn't be rebuilt. There was supposed to be a second and possibly a third surgery to fuse as many bones together in my ankle and foot to create a stronger foundation, but WC kept switching from one doctor to the next, to the next in a 3 year span there were over 10 specialists involved. There was only 1 doctor that thought I was completely faking the injury. Praise the Lord, nobody considered that quacks report, there was too much medical evidence to prove differently.
There was a court case, but no money could replace what was lost that fateful night. The so called case sucked the life out of me, a once active mother of 3 boys was forced to sit on the side line of life to keep watch. I don't live life - I am forced to watch it. I can't make my own medical decision to "make" my life better - WC has to and that money I settled on wouldn't cover the anesthesiologist if I choose to pay for my own treatment, but the reality is; it is too late - these options were offered earlier on - you have to wait for approval and if the next doctor didn't mention the same treatment plan, I had to go along with the new doctor and forget about the doctor that really wanted to help me.
So, here I sit, gaining weight by the minute (probably seconds) and watch the world go by and not a thing I can do about it. My fate was sealed that day, I went to work March 2, 2005. I am on so much medication for every malady one could have. I have aged nearly 40 years in 6 long years. Common things like showering and sleeping are tough and taking on those tasks are difficult. To describe how painful it is to shower (does NO justice) but, a woman can probably compare it to a bikini waxing lasting 15 minutes (just the hair pulling out part, depending on the day, it could make my eyes water). I don't look forward to any day - I wish I could stay asleep for more than 2.5 - 3 hours at a time. I tell people all the time just put an IV in; trank me enough for 6 months - put me in a box and on a shelf - I dream of hibernation.
Up next, Daybility part II. What is in my day? What do I do ALL day long? Has anything changed? but more importantly I will be talking to my readers; here in NJ and how they can help make changes to current WC laws. Right now the law protects the insurance companies, not the patients. You never know if or when a life changing injury will happen, while you are working; are you and your family prepared? Until next time...
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Awe Struck
I don't spend my day rummaging through blogs - I should, because I love writing or venting my feelings in my posts. However, I occassionally come across a post that is just wrong or goes against what is right. I am just awe struck at what people put out there for others to see.
I know I put some questionable things out there, but I am working with many, many people in my home, I have doctors on-board, and absolute diagnosis. When my children are old enough, I want them to read what I was going through. I am not ashamed of my posts. I also want them to see that I wasn't focused just on our family life - that I can write about other things.
So recently, I came across a post about; Things better to do than listening to a tantraum and a few months ago, a post of a mom confessing she doesn't use her baby's car seat ALL the time. You instantly think, WTF? I am AWE struck to say the least!
First of all, NEVER ever allow your baby or child to ride in the car without a car seat. My 11 year old just met the weight, but when he turned 10 the doctor said he could go without a car seat. Yes, we faithfully used a car seat (we called it a booster seat) until then. Child safety should ALWAYS be paramount. Tantrums are par for the course of parenting, there is no way to avoid them, however, every parent should be well educated about what exceeds the extreme level of a tantrum. I mean if, a parent is thinking ill thoughts (or rather go through kidney stones, labor, lunch with Snooky or a vehicle being repossessed)- might be time to make sure it isn't something else. Firstly, taking a look at your time out technique is a must. If you are doing it wrong, there will be an increase in bad behavior and also cause parenting fatigue. Secondly and MOST important - the child may have an undiagnosed disability.
Some children have the audacity of extreme embarrassment at the wrong time, especially when we want them be shown off. In my experience, too many of those times, could be a sign of things to come. I want my readers to be well informed and know that there is help (well, if you are in the United States). If you are in need of any help, shoot me an e-mail under contact me or leave a comment. I can help find you some resources in your state. There is so much help out there that wording what you need can be the difference of receiving vs. having to deal with. It is a sea of information that is difficult, because you have to work and find it. Then stay on top of it. Yes, you would have to advocate for yourself, nobody will do it for you, but the state will be the first one to scoop your child out of your care and into the system. It only takes ONE time for the mis-communication.
I read so much, it shouldn't be a shock anymore - but, really when my child has a tantrum I can't think of anything else other than "How can I help him?" "What am I doing wrong?" "What happened earlier?" I am definitely not thinking of having a root canal, or hoping my vehicle gets repossessed. If the tantrums are that bad, then there is a problem. Here is a loose guide of how long or how far a child should tantrum: 12-15 month old - may have up to 12 bouts of crying, pouting, and usually no longer than 15 minutes or if the child starts having spastic breathing (there needs immediate intervention) 18-24 months NO more than 15-18 bouts of crying, pouting, stamping feet, holding their breath, throw themselves on the floor, etc., After 20 minutes of no change seek a professional for help. Usually with proper time out technique, tantrums fade just after 2.5 years, but if the tantrums are increasing and can hurt others - it is time to seek professional care. It is easier to help fix a child when they are young, so don't ignore or make fun of this type stuff. I have never personally videotaped an incident/episode with my bi-polar son. I would give fair caution to those who decide to.
With the technology today - anyone could use the footage for whatever the purpose of that minute. The professionals will NEVER need footage to help you or your child receive services. If there is a true problem, they will see through the act. I recommend no videotaping, you don't want the child to think the incident/episodes are WORTHY to keep around and then you won't worry about a sibling, cousin, friend, or anyone being able to get revenge at some point. These children/teens who have incidents/episodes wish they could respond to their triggers more appropriately.
Please email me if you would like some help in your area or leave a comment with your contact info.
I know I put some questionable things out there, but I am working with many, many people in my home, I have doctors on-board, and absolute diagnosis. When my children are old enough, I want them to read what I was going through. I am not ashamed of my posts. I also want them to see that I wasn't focused just on our family life - that I can write about other things.
So recently, I came across a post about; Things better to do than listening to a tantraum and a few months ago, a post of a mom confessing she doesn't use her baby's car seat ALL the time. You instantly think, WTF? I am AWE struck to say the least!
First of all, NEVER ever allow your baby or child to ride in the car without a car seat. My 11 year old just met the weight, but when he turned 10 the doctor said he could go without a car seat. Yes, we faithfully used a car seat (we called it a booster seat) until then. Child safety should ALWAYS be paramount. Tantrums are par for the course of parenting, there is no way to avoid them, however, every parent should be well educated about what exceeds the extreme level of a tantrum. I mean if, a parent is thinking ill thoughts (or rather go through kidney stones, labor, lunch with Snooky or a vehicle being repossessed)- might be time to make sure it isn't something else. Firstly, taking a look at your time out technique is a must. If you are doing it wrong, there will be an increase in bad behavior and also cause parenting fatigue. Secondly and MOST important - the child may have an undiagnosed disability.
Some children have the audacity of extreme embarrassment at the wrong time, especially when we want them be shown off. In my experience, too many of those times, could be a sign of things to come. I want my readers to be well informed and know that there is help (well, if you are in the United States). If you are in need of any help, shoot me an e-mail under contact me or leave a comment. I can help find you some resources in your state. There is so much help out there that wording what you need can be the difference of receiving vs. having to deal with. It is a sea of information that is difficult, because you have to work and find it. Then stay on top of it. Yes, you would have to advocate for yourself, nobody will do it for you, but the state will be the first one to scoop your child out of your care and into the system. It only takes ONE time for the mis-communication.
I read so much, it shouldn't be a shock anymore - but, really when my child has a tantrum I can't think of anything else other than "How can I help him?" "What am I doing wrong?" "What happened earlier?" I am definitely not thinking of having a root canal, or hoping my vehicle gets repossessed. If the tantrums are that bad, then there is a problem. Here is a loose guide of how long or how far a child should tantrum: 12-15 month old - may have up to 12 bouts of crying, pouting, and usually no longer than 15 minutes or if the child starts having spastic breathing (there needs immediate intervention) 18-24 months NO more than 15-18 bouts of crying, pouting, stamping feet, holding their breath, throw themselves on the floor, etc., After 20 minutes of no change seek a professional for help. Usually with proper time out technique, tantrums fade just after 2.5 years, but if the tantrums are increasing and can hurt others - it is time to seek professional care. It is easier to help fix a child when they are young, so don't ignore or make fun of this type stuff. I have never personally videotaped an incident/episode with my bi-polar son. I would give fair caution to those who decide to.
With the technology today - anyone could use the footage for whatever the purpose of that minute. The professionals will NEVER need footage to help you or your child receive services. If there is a true problem, they will see through the act. I recommend no videotaping, you don't want the child to think the incident/episodes are WORTHY to keep around and then you won't worry about a sibling, cousin, friend, or anyone being able to get revenge at some point. These children/teens who have incidents/episodes wish they could respond to their triggers more appropriately.
Please email me if you would like some help in your area or leave a comment with your contact info.
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Someone's Hero
On a sunny spring day, birds are chipping away at the dawn of a new day. My feet nervously hit the floor for the pain that is about to hit like a Mack truck. It takes a few minutes to get used to my legs as I take my shower, get dressed for success for the day to come. I walk through my empty kitchen as I pick up the whirlwind of three tornados that had left minutes earlier. The dogs are disappointed in having to go into their crate, like every weekday - I assure them the boys will be home early. I murmur a prayer to God to get me through the day - I wouldn't have any IEP meetings, nor any meetings - not today, TODAY would be the day I become a hero.
I have been guiding young lads and ladies to go off to college to be their own success and also guiding individuals needing special educational plans to give everything their best for success. I love my job, dedicated to helping young adults merge into society as prospects for a great future - a future I am going to grow old in. However, today would be different, today I plan on being someones hero.
I have gone over this all in my head, day after day, and today has been planned; what seems all of my life - I drive the two hours and recite my speech from memory, but it won't be the same when there will be literally thousands of people, reporters, tv news crews, and then the gossip people, they call themselves a reporter - I know differently. They are going to make me look bad at every angle they can - it is their job and well, I have to do mine.
I have been on the road a long time, but the beautiful scents that spring is here, is a very freeing thought. My imagination is running wildly, that I miss a turn and I start to unravel just a bit. Then as fear seeps through me as I realize I am lost, then I see it - my worst nightmare is happening in front of me.
This is what needs to change, this is what I put my whole heart and soul into. I see a group of young kids surrounding a very scared boy. They are yelling at him, as the poor child is sobbing, then they lurch at him and laugh as he fell to the ground, and off in the distance is an adult it appears she sees what is going on, she will run over to the boy's aid and get these unruly kids into the school principal's office to face some sort of punishment. Now, the group of kids are taunting the boy and the adult turns her back and walks further away. I honk my horn to no avail. I have to go in - Just as I get out of the car, the kids all scatter, leaving behind a frightened boy with no self esteem. I try to get over to him and he sulks off and mixes with all the other students. Hurt that I wasn't the hero for that child, I stuff myself back into my car and I am more determined - to be someones hero.
The Press Conference is set to happen at Noon, I am so anxious my feet can barely stay in my shoes. The press secretary introduces the Governor and the Governor states the reason for the press release and announces my name. My whole life has come to this - this very nauseous moment - everyone MUST be able to see my heart pounding out of my chest as I stride carefully up the steps towards the podium. I was a nobody... until this very moment.
What??? I want the same things as everyone else - World Peace. Well, on a really small scale actually. You see, society has created this law that everyone is entitled to a free education. How many of you come to realize that the free education your children are entitled to is run like the survival of the fittest? Well, if you haven't given that a thought, think again. Kids are cruel and if you don't fit in - you will pecked to death, by insults, threats, pushing, shoving, teasing, etc. My goal of today is to get the ADULTS, parents, teachers, staff, etc. to recognize the pattern of bullying and take an active role in getting those students into programs and or special anger management schools. There would be rules for the adults as well. Any adult that turns a shoulder to any bullying, is grounds for dismissal of active teaching duties, until a proper investigation is done. The press conference goes very well, there is a plan in place, to protect all children. Child abuse is illegal, why would it be different if a peer was abusing a fellow peer - abuse is exactly abuse. It shouldn't have any prejudices, but it does. This is the legacy I want to lead - stop bullying, stop child abuse among same aged peers. What is illegal for one group, should be illegal across all the groups.
Well, this is what my dream my legacy I wish to leave behind, would look like - EVERY child getting a FREE and SAFE education; that is not survival of the fittest. God would want this for all of his children, I believe in it and I do have plans on finishing my masters and try to leave a legacy behind that would make it possible for me to be "Someone's Hero"
What would you want your legacy to be? what do you want to be remembered for? What kind of hero are you waiting for or inspiring to be?
I have been guiding young lads and ladies to go off to college to be their own success and also guiding individuals needing special educational plans to give everything their best for success. I love my job, dedicated to helping young adults merge into society as prospects for a great future - a future I am going to grow old in. However, today would be different, today I plan on being someones hero.
I have gone over this all in my head, day after day, and today has been planned; what seems all of my life - I drive the two hours and recite my speech from memory, but it won't be the same when there will be literally thousands of people, reporters, tv news crews, and then the gossip people, they call themselves a reporter - I know differently. They are going to make me look bad at every angle they can - it is their job and well, I have to do mine.
I have been on the road a long time, but the beautiful scents that spring is here, is a very freeing thought. My imagination is running wildly, that I miss a turn and I start to unravel just a bit. Then as fear seeps through me as I realize I am lost, then I see it - my worst nightmare is happening in front of me.
This is what needs to change, this is what I put my whole heart and soul into. I see a group of young kids surrounding a very scared boy. They are yelling at him, as the poor child is sobbing, then they lurch at him and laugh as he fell to the ground, and off in the distance is an adult it appears she sees what is going on, she will run over to the boy's aid and get these unruly kids into the school principal's office to face some sort of punishment. Now, the group of kids are taunting the boy and the adult turns her back and walks further away. I honk my horn to no avail. I have to go in - Just as I get out of the car, the kids all scatter, leaving behind a frightened boy with no self esteem. I try to get over to him and he sulks off and mixes with all the other students. Hurt that I wasn't the hero for that child, I stuff myself back into my car and I am more determined - to be someones hero.
The Press Conference is set to happen at Noon, I am so anxious my feet can barely stay in my shoes. The press secretary introduces the Governor and the Governor states the reason for the press release and announces my name. My whole life has come to this - this very nauseous moment - everyone MUST be able to see my heart pounding out of my chest as I stride carefully up the steps towards the podium. I was a nobody... until this very moment.
What??? I want the same things as everyone else - World Peace. Well, on a really small scale actually. You see, society has created this law that everyone is entitled to a free education. How many of you come to realize that the free education your children are entitled to is run like the survival of the fittest? Well, if you haven't given that a thought, think again. Kids are cruel and if you don't fit in - you will pecked to death, by insults, threats, pushing, shoving, teasing, etc. My goal of today is to get the ADULTS, parents, teachers, staff, etc. to recognize the pattern of bullying and take an active role in getting those students into programs and or special anger management schools. There would be rules for the adults as well. Any adult that turns a shoulder to any bullying, is grounds for dismissal of active teaching duties, until a proper investigation is done. The press conference goes very well, there is a plan in place, to protect all children. Child abuse is illegal, why would it be different if a peer was abusing a fellow peer - abuse is exactly abuse. It shouldn't have any prejudices, but it does. This is the legacy I want to lead - stop bullying, stop child abuse among same aged peers. What is illegal for one group, should be illegal across all the groups.
Well, this is what my dream my legacy I wish to leave behind, would look like - EVERY child getting a FREE and SAFE education; that is not survival of the fittest. God would want this for all of his children, I believe in it and I do have plans on finishing my masters and try to leave a legacy behind that would make it possible for me to be "Someone's Hero"
What would you want your legacy to be? what do you want to be remembered for? What kind of hero are you waiting for or inspiring to be?
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