I filled you in on Gage's pregnancy, now it is time to tell you about Addison. I had an amnio test done due to the fact, another test revealed a possible birth defect. Well, the amnio test came back as finding a problem with the baby and it revealed that Addison had Spina Bifida (the numbers were low, but claimed we were expecting an abnormal child) and I had to have ultra sound scans that seemed to be weekly - they were looking for a hole in his spine. It could be huge or it could be small, they insisted we know so we could be well informed and they never found one. They were also keeping an eagle eye out on this pregnancy since my first one nearly killed me (literally). When Addison was born he was whisked away, to have tests run and done. They returned him to me and all they found was a small little dimple on his back right above his spine (and it was the cutest dimple (you can't even see it now) of where the small anomaly was. He must be thoroughly checked for scoliosis and there have been some changes, but nothing significant needing medical intervention.
Addison practically lived in the hospital for the first two years of his life. He got everything, any illness or sickness any baby could get plus some. He had tubes (in his ears) numerous times so much that he suffered some hearing loss, but our insurance at the time wouldn't cover hearing aids for him. By the time we had insurance to cover them, his hearing had improved enough not to qualify for them so we were told as he grows the scar tissue will get less and less. When Addison was three, I decided to have his tonsils and adenoids removed (the pediatrician did NOT back my decision), but it was the best decision I have ever made, Addison has NOT been in the hospital overnight since.
Addison was closely monitored by doctors for a long time and there really was no need for the visits to continue. So now he has ONE doctor. Praise the Lord. We know he will need to have an Orthopedic type spine doctor when he gets older, but for now - we just have thorough scoliosis checks and X-Rays every few years to check for changes. We have a friend whose daughter has Spina Bifida and to say Addison has it, just seems to be considered as salt in a wound. Addison suffers from a seizure disorder and that too has subsided into petite mal seizures it is extremely manageable, which unbelievably could be from Spina Bifida. I have also recently learned that children born with spina bifida seem to be at a greater risk of any and all types of infection, which could explain his first two years of life.
Jaden, oh boy my Jaden. We opted to have every test available during this pregnancy, so we could be ready for whatever this new darling bouncing baby would bring. Imagine our surprise when they said, "The fetus (gosh I hate that word, it is a baby) appears to be developing normal in every aspect" and "all the tests have come back within "normal" limits". Ok, a no surprise type baby - I like that and certainly can handle it. Jaden was born on his due date, however I was in labor in the HOSPITAL for 3 or 4 days before I just gave up and said, just get the baby out. I really, really wanted to try to deliver him and my doctors were so good to me to let me have that control. Gage was C-Sect under full anesthesia and Addison they let me have contractions, but they said, it would be best to deliver him via C-section under local anesthesia. I just wanted to try for that v-bac, for my 3rd pregnancy. After nearly reaching a full week in labor (apparently I had been having contractions at home for a few days before mentioning it to the doctor who instantly admitted me into the hospital) I just gave up and had another c-sect for our third boy. I never knew for any of the pregnancies what I was having and although I could find out definitely with the last two, I remained faithful in not wanting to know until they arrived. I was still (secretly hoping for a girl). Everything was unremarkable for Jaden until he was 3. Aside some minor issues, but the biggest event took place when he was 3. Jaden will have his own post, so be on the look out for it.
I do have to tell this story it is so funny and scary at the same time. Addison God bless this child, he means so well and he really LOVES everyone. I think Jaden was about 5-6 weeks old and I had Jaden swinging in his swing and I was doing something else, not too far away. I hear this muffled choking kind of sound and I ran to Jaden ripped him out of his swing, called 911, and was sticking my fingers into Jaden's throat dislodging a ... cookie, cracker, goldfish??? As I am on the phone, receiving directions, I see this man running with some bag and jumping over flowers coming closer and closer to my home, meanwhile I was still receiving directions and my front door swung wide open - it was the maniac that was running and jumping over things down the street. I tried to hang up with 911 - they even said "that was record time for a response and they didn't believe me at first that someone was there to help". When the officer arrived 911 felt comfortable in releasing the call as responded. The first responder only lived a few houses up the street and when he heard it was a newborn he knew there wasn't time to waste. They get Jaden stabilized and he did need some oxygen (not too much) and they want to know what happened. Well, I hadn't a clue - I didn't give him any food.
Addison was talking to all the police and ambulance people and they couldn't believe he was only 2.5 - he was a highly verbal child. So, the police asked him what happened - boy this child, this child of mine - he told them "I NEVER feed Jaden and Jaden is VERY hungry" Uh huh, so did you help mommy feed baby Jaden? (the police officer asked, Addison) "Yes, but he was sleeping - he opened his eyes - he was very hungry" now, I know you see this developing story and while this is serious - I found it incredibly difficult to remain serious - I do believe that some of the emergency workers felt the same way, too. Addison is about to further tell the story of how neglectful I am as well.
You have to remember Addison was practically raised in the hospital. I had constant help, when ever he stopped breathing or his heart slowed down enough to sound the alarms, etc you get the point, I always had help and there were always all these people around. He tells the officer that I don't feed Jaden, and then officer gives me a look of "you will have your turn in a minute", then goes on to say that nobody cares for him. He just lays on the floor, and in his bed and mommy leaves him to cry in the swing. I am ready to choke this lovely child of mine.
Woohoo it is my turn to speak. You have to take everything for face value when talking to a 2.5 year old and in Addison's eyes - Jaden NEVER ate - All of my kids were nursed, heck only Gage had bottles, because he couldn't get the latch-on process, so I pumped and put into bottles for him. So, yes, technically Jaden didn't eat. I now have three boys, and a changing station had become quite the hazard in the home it just screamed, "climb me and jump" so Jaden had the unfortunate experience of being changed on the floor. As for not being cared for, well that can be easily explained to a police officer, but not a young child. Jaden had to be left many of times, even in great distress, and that included times of near starvation, and hark let lightening strike me now - he had to be left in his crib - when I was tending to other important duties such as; retrieving children climbing to dangerous heights on tables, counters, toys you name it if it was dangerous, my kids climbed it. So forgive me, if I left Jaden in his crib to finish his nap and he woke up while I was saving someone else's life. Surely you can forgive me.
Here is what we think happened. I had just finished feeding Jaden and placed him in his swing and started to do stuff in the kitchen to prepare for lunch. Addison had been given some crackers, earlier and decided himself that since he never sees mommy feed Jaden some food, he must be hungry by now. For fear that Jaden's life would end early due to starvation, he gave Jaden a cracker and when Jaden didn't respond (because he was sleeping) he crammed or pushed it further back into his tiny mouth. That is when I heard the muffled choking and I immediately dialed 911. I wasn't going to wait to see if he was breathing, they were coming no matter what. The officers were so good, (mainly because they didn't arrest me, LOL,) they played with Addison and did such a great job in educating Addison that the food Jaden received and needed right then wasn't the same type of food that he required. I can't even imagine the post I would have to do if they did arrest me. I think that would have sent Addison over the edge though. He is such a funny boy and his love of people will either be his biggest asset or be his biggest demise. I am praying for the first one.
Until next time...
Life is hard, children are even harder, and when they come with special needs - those parents are in need of special support, because life as we know it, feels like the "normal" life is over. You aren't going through life on your own, there are other parents out there. I know it feels lonely and exhausting at the same time. I am there with you. Come join me in my blog to support special needs kids all over.
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Sunday, January 16, 2011
All about add a son... Addison
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