Merry Christmas everyone. For those of you that are just joining - I have three boys 10, 13, & 15. They are ultra cool this year because supposedly they don't believe. I was told countless times - "to stop", "I was being annoying." So, we didn't really wrap stuff up in private thinking they ***pause with gasp*** didn't believe in the magic of Christmas anymore. I told all of them in order to recieve they need to believe.
Because of how incredibly organized I am and the quality neatness of my humble abode, everything was already wrapped, tied up in bows, and we could relax. Bahahabahahaha, this is me we are talking about. Several tornadoes blew into our home over the last several years, a few bombs have gone off and we have never recovered. My home is never meant to be in a Home and Garden magazine. We really had no plans of any kind, so around 9:30 we told the kids to get ready for bed.
Around 9:30 / 10:00 my 10 year old (Jaden) came down to take his meds. He looked around and looked strange (I already know I have weird kids) so I didn't question. Then out of the blue he said, where are the cookies? I told him it was time for bed and let's go. Then he said in a low voice (not quite a whisper) - "I want to put out the cookies and milk".
As you can imagine, my heart sank and swelled at the same time - this will probably be his last year of believing. I live in fear every year that I have done some irreprepable damage to my kids (by not getting them something off their list) or not doing something special enough, or lying to them. The list goes on and on.
We were thinking of doing the three wise men this year, but I am glad we didn't. There is something magical about Christmas - I want my kids to have happy memories and the reason why Christmas is so special. We believe Jesus was born on this day, we believe Jesus was perfect in every way, we believe in celebrating Christmas day. Jesus is the reason for this season.
I think my kids believe in Christmas for all the right reasons - Do you believe to receive? if not, it is never too late. Merry Christmas everyone - Happy Birthday Jesus. ... Do all the good you can... As often as you can ... to as many as you can... Until next time.
Blessings, Diane
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Abbreviated Living
Today, children are not only born in a hospital, but under medication and a completely controlled environment. Yet, these children have the biggest medical terminology baggage that we had to create abbreviations for. Common abbreviations are IEP, CP, PDD, OCD, ADHD, ADD, ODD, plus a lot more. Remember the states and their capitols? Well, if you don't know their abbreviations, having a child in this day and age - you are going to need to know all the abbreviations that they and other children come with.
Please know that my list won't even cover a small fraction of abbreviations related to special needs kids. Let's start with the easy ones ADHD (Attention Deficiet Hyperactivity Disorder) this is reserved for the child who has difficulty sitting and working on a project. They are unable to focus on one particular event - they are often disorganized and messy. They move in stealth like manner and very difficult to reel in - they often cause embarrassing moments in public and make you look like a MEAN or bad parent, because it looks like you lost control of your kid. ADD (Attention Deficiet Disorder) Most people commonly confuse ADD and ADHD. I have two children with ADHD and the other one is ADD. The main difference between the two is the hyperactivity (unable to control impulsive type behavior). For example: My son with ADD has medication but only receives it on school days. He needs help in his ability to stay focused in his classes so he retains the information taught. ADD children are better at organization, and normally appear to have no negative socialization issues. The days that he is NOT medicated, are not difficult on me - whereas my other two children unmedicated would be enough to have me committed (that would be my vacation, LOL).
CP (Cerebral Palsy) this is commonly caused from traumatic birth or a traumatic event in utero. There is NO test for this, and most babies don't show signs until they continuously miss milestones (where the pediatrician tells you every baby develops at their own pace). CP is diagnosed by CT Scan (Cat scan) of the head. You don't want to see voids in the scan. The profile goes from mild to severe (wheelchair bound children). My oldest was diagnosed with a mild form when he was 4.5 years old. You wouldn't even know he has it - his CP affects him academically (it is harder for him to learn) and he has tight heel cords so he was a toe walker.
IEP (Individualized Educational Plan) This is what most children get when they are deficient in one (33%) area, or (25%) in two or more areas at the age of 3. If you child shows deficiencies the school district is OBLOGATED to provide special services that are soley based on your childs needs and academic goals. There is a group of professionals (well they have a degree in "special needs") that meet with the parent to provide an educational plan just for the specific child in need. One important thing to remember is that this meeting is for your child and your child alone. You the parent know what is best - you as the parent aren't at this meeting to make friends - speak up if you disagree with the plan. Due to the state of the economy a lot of services are being cut, but if your child needs a service that has been cut, you have every right to ask for it for your child. Don't take "NO" for an answer. Make the district responsible should anything happen. My oldest child is Bipolar (we didn't know at the time) and he can be extremely violent. Well when he was in 5th grade, the incidents kept escalating so we asked for an aide at school to prevent injuries to other children (it was a safety precaution). We were denied - I desperately tried to get the district to understand that the violence was picking up and we were worried. DENIED, DENIED. Finally, we wrote a legal letter asking the school to remove us as liabilities in case another child got hurt on school grounds, since we were denied an aide. Three days later, our son threw a book at a teacher hitting her in the temple. The teacher fully recovered after an overnight in the hospital - guess what we had by the end of the week? An aide. You the parent really knows best and fight for what is right.
Well, I was aiming for a shorter post this time and it is long. I will continue this rant in another post later on. Until next time... Do all the good you can... As often as you can...To as many as you can... Be Blessed
Please know that my list won't even cover a small fraction of abbreviations related to special needs kids. Let's start with the easy ones ADHD (Attention Deficiet Hyperactivity Disorder) this is reserved for the child who has difficulty sitting and working on a project. They are unable to focus on one particular event - they are often disorganized and messy. They move in stealth like manner and very difficult to reel in - they often cause embarrassing moments in public and make you look like a MEAN or bad parent, because it looks like you lost control of your kid. ADD (Attention Deficiet Disorder) Most people commonly confuse ADD and ADHD. I have two children with ADHD and the other one is ADD. The main difference between the two is the hyperactivity (unable to control impulsive type behavior). For example: My son with ADD has medication but only receives it on school days. He needs help in his ability to stay focused in his classes so he retains the information taught. ADD children are better at organization, and normally appear to have no negative socialization issues. The days that he is NOT medicated, are not difficult on me - whereas my other two children unmedicated would be enough to have me committed (that would be my vacation, LOL).
CP (Cerebral Palsy) this is commonly caused from traumatic birth or a traumatic event in utero. There is NO test for this, and most babies don't show signs until they continuously miss milestones (where the pediatrician tells you every baby develops at their own pace). CP is diagnosed by CT Scan (Cat scan) of the head. You don't want to see voids in the scan. The profile goes from mild to severe (wheelchair bound children). My oldest was diagnosed with a mild form when he was 4.5 years old. You wouldn't even know he has it - his CP affects him academically (it is harder for him to learn) and he has tight heel cords so he was a toe walker.
IEP (Individualized Educational Plan) This is what most children get when they are deficient in one (33%) area, or (25%) in two or more areas at the age of 3. If you child shows deficiencies the school district is OBLOGATED to provide special services that are soley based on your childs needs and academic goals. There is a group of professionals (well they have a degree in "special needs") that meet with the parent to provide an educational plan just for the specific child in need. One important thing to remember is that this meeting is for your child and your child alone. You the parent know what is best - you as the parent aren't at this meeting to make friends - speak up if you disagree with the plan. Due to the state of the economy a lot of services are being cut, but if your child needs a service that has been cut, you have every right to ask for it for your child. Don't take "NO" for an answer. Make the district responsible should anything happen. My oldest child is Bipolar (we didn't know at the time) and he can be extremely violent. Well when he was in 5th grade, the incidents kept escalating so we asked for an aide at school to prevent injuries to other children (it was a safety precaution). We were denied - I desperately tried to get the district to understand that the violence was picking up and we were worried. DENIED, DENIED. Finally, we wrote a legal letter asking the school to remove us as liabilities in case another child got hurt on school grounds, since we were denied an aide. Three days later, our son threw a book at a teacher hitting her in the temple. The teacher fully recovered after an overnight in the hospital - guess what we had by the end of the week? An aide. You the parent really knows best and fight for what is right.
Well, I was aiming for a shorter post this time and it is long. I will continue this rant in another post later on. Until next time... Do all the good you can... As often as you can...To as many as you can... Be Blessed
Spell - I am Angry
Jaden is our youngest and has a ton of labels with initials (saving for another post). He has decided to try failing at school. I don't know he is a vey bright child and learning comes natural to him. He is one of those kids who never has homework, and gets A's and B's. In other words, a kid I would often hate when I was in school. I had to work hard to earn a C!
Let me set the scene: It is a week before Christmas and all through the house ... nah, nah, nah. It was a week before Christmas, but mind you, I am threatened all the time - so I usually pay no mind. Jaden is upset that I made him do something he didn't want to do and he yelled at me, well I am going to fail all of my tests. Ok, whatever. Now, most schools use teacher ease or like there of, but our school is a small private gathering and we use accountability sheets. These sheets come home every Monday, so imagine my surprise when I see an accountability sheet with 5 test scores of all failing grades attached to it. I go and ask Jaden and he politely reminds me "Don't you remember, I was going to fail all of my tests last week." WHAT THE ****, and several other expletives came to mind along with wanting to choke him on the spot. So, his punishment was to write all the spelling words he got wrong 10 times each. Now, he failed the test so there were quite a few to write, but please remember these kids are in a private school so the 10 words we had to remember when we went to school is NOTHING compared to the 35 these kids have EACH WEEK.
Two hours go by and he is still crying. Finally, I go into the study and see bits of paper on the floor. I ask to see his spelling test and he hands me the accountability sheet packet and it is out of order, stapled backwards, and some tests are upside down. Perplexed, I asked Jaden what happened - He was like "What do you mean?" I mean I am on medication, but not that much that I wouldn't have noticed the packet like it is currently. I started putting all the pieces (and literally as well) together and was shocked. My child had the balls (yes, I am sorry - this child blew me away with how far he is willing to go to prove his point TWICE already in a span of 2 hours) to rip up the test beyond repair (which he will regret later) and try to pass it off as a lost and wandering test.
Well, we thought we needed to show him how far we would go to prove our point that you don't fail on purpose, nor do you try to LOSE your form of punishment. He had to write the entire spelling list including vocabulary 10 times each. (Which I have a secret stash of spelling lists that he did NOT know I had, just in case he forgot to bring the list home. It takes too long for them to recite 35 to 40 words over the phone). When I produced a copy of the spelling list - he was absolutely beside himself. He tried to piece back the original test to do less work - he ripped this test beyond what my paper shredder can do - I mean it would have taken less time to do that then what he did and I may never had known what happened to it either. I wonder how many other papers have met their end in the shredder - UMMMM, I am going to have to do something about that, anyway...
My kids have this aversion to writing on the right side of the paper and or legibly for this type of punishment. An hour or less later he came to me with this beautiful handwritten paper with more than half of his list (which got him dinner). I mean this paper needs to be in a frame. I told his teacher about the incident and we quietly laughed together. He wants to see this paper - and see if Jaden learned his lesson. I don't think Jaden will rip up a failed test anytime soon and I think (he is getting work over vacation and it is optional, however, due to recent failed grades, it is not optional for Jaden and the completed work will help improve some of his grades) he will not threaten to fail his tests anytime soon. How far is your child willing to go on a threat he or she has said to you??? I would love to hear about your story. Until next time my kids do something disorganized - give it about an hour and they are sleeping now, LOL....
Let me set the scene: It is a week before Christmas and all through the house ... nah, nah, nah. It was a week before Christmas, but mind you, I am threatened all the time - so I usually pay no mind. Jaden is upset that I made him do something he didn't want to do and he yelled at me, well I am going to fail all of my tests. Ok, whatever. Now, most schools use teacher ease or like there of, but our school is a small private gathering and we use accountability sheets. These sheets come home every Monday, so imagine my surprise when I see an accountability sheet with 5 test scores of all failing grades attached to it. I go and ask Jaden and he politely reminds me "Don't you remember, I was going to fail all of my tests last week." WHAT THE ****, and several other expletives came to mind along with wanting to choke him on the spot. So, his punishment was to write all the spelling words he got wrong 10 times each. Now, he failed the test so there were quite a few to write, but please remember these kids are in a private school so the 10 words we had to remember when we went to school is NOTHING compared to the 35 these kids have EACH WEEK.
Two hours go by and he is still crying. Finally, I go into the study and see bits of paper on the floor. I ask to see his spelling test and he hands me the accountability sheet packet and it is out of order, stapled backwards, and some tests are upside down. Perplexed, I asked Jaden what happened - He was like "What do you mean?" I mean I am on medication, but not that much that I wouldn't have noticed the packet like it is currently. I started putting all the pieces (and literally as well) together and was shocked. My child had the balls (yes, I am sorry - this child blew me away with how far he is willing to go to prove his point TWICE already in a span of 2 hours) to rip up the test beyond repair (which he will regret later) and try to pass it off as a lost and wandering test.
Well, we thought we needed to show him how far we would go to prove our point that you don't fail on purpose, nor do you try to LOSE your form of punishment. He had to write the entire spelling list including vocabulary 10 times each. (Which I have a secret stash of spelling lists that he did NOT know I had, just in case he forgot to bring the list home. It takes too long for them to recite 35 to 40 words over the phone). When I produced a copy of the spelling list - he was absolutely beside himself. He tried to piece back the original test to do less work - he ripped this test beyond what my paper shredder can do - I mean it would have taken less time to do that then what he did and I may never had known what happened to it either. I wonder how many other papers have met their end in the shredder - UMMMM, I am going to have to do something about that, anyway...
My kids have this aversion to writing on the right side of the paper and or legibly for this type of punishment. An hour or less later he came to me with this beautiful handwritten paper with more than half of his list (which got him dinner). I mean this paper needs to be in a frame. I told his teacher about the incident and we quietly laughed together. He wants to see this paper - and see if Jaden learned his lesson. I don't think Jaden will rip up a failed test anytime soon and I think (he is getting work over vacation and it is optional, however, due to recent failed grades, it is not optional for Jaden and the completed work will help improve some of his grades) he will not threaten to fail his tests anytime soon. How far is your child willing to go on a threat he or she has said to you??? I would love to hear about your story. Until next time my kids do something disorganized - give it about an hour and they are sleeping now, LOL....
Monday, December 20, 2010
Disorder in the dis order
Some of you know I have had carpel tunnel surgery on the left hand and it was successfully released. However, I HAVE to do the right hand and according to tests - the right is much worse than the left. This has been no picnic - I can't believe how much I depend on BOTH of my hands. While going through this fiasco, I found out that I should go see an oncologist. I won't get into all the details right now, but I can't even get out of the dark from one issue to the next. There is this black cloud following me all the time. The hand issue needs immediate attention and so does the oncologist appointment - so I ask questions as any good patient does and I am told to take care of my hands because I won't heal well during radiation or chemo treatment.
Did she just say radiation or chemo to me? What? really? So, you have my full attention now. Looking back at the whole scenario, I was just plan stupid. I just wasn't thinking there was a problem. I was thinking I was going through a routine exam, although it took 4 visits to complete the routine exam. So, I went for a 2nd opinion today and this doctor didn't nearly have as much difficulty as the other doctor, however, he did tell me that he can understand as to why there was trouble. So, I sit wondering if that trouble is a true medical issue or problem. I did ask, but I felt like the doctor avoided answering the whole question and wants to wait for the test results to come back and we will talk further after that.
Meanwhile back at the ranch, I am still healing from the carpel tunnel surgery. I went to OT therapy the other day and I was yelled at, because apparently I am not supposed to be using my hand yet and not for another 3 or 4 weeks. Do they know I am having the other hand done next Tuesday??? I will have 3 kids (ok, boys people - my kids are all BOYS) home on Christmas break. I can't believe I am going to go through with all of this chaos.
I know, I know my blog hasn't changed at all. I really underestimated what I was going to be able to do. I wasn't able to do anything. I have an idea of how I want to change my blog and going about that change will take time. I am constantly in disorder, never organized and I have huge plans for everything I just never get there, but I always mean well. Until next time ... Do all the good you can... as often as you can... to as many as you can... Blessings
Did she just say radiation or chemo to me? What? really? So, you have my full attention now. Looking back at the whole scenario, I was just plan stupid. I just wasn't thinking there was a problem. I was thinking I was going through a routine exam, although it took 4 visits to complete the routine exam. So, I went for a 2nd opinion today and this doctor didn't nearly have as much difficulty as the other doctor, however, he did tell me that he can understand as to why there was trouble. So, I sit wondering if that trouble is a true medical issue or problem. I did ask, but I felt like the doctor avoided answering the whole question and wants to wait for the test results to come back and we will talk further after that.
Meanwhile back at the ranch, I am still healing from the carpel tunnel surgery. I went to OT therapy the other day and I was yelled at, because apparently I am not supposed to be using my hand yet and not for another 3 or 4 weeks. Do they know I am having the other hand done next Tuesday??? I will have 3 kids (ok, boys people - my kids are all BOYS) home on Christmas break. I can't believe I am going to go through with all of this chaos.
I know, I know my blog hasn't changed at all. I really underestimated what I was going to be able to do. I wasn't able to do anything. I have an idea of how I want to change my blog and going about that change will take time. I am constantly in disorder, never organized and I have huge plans for everything I just never get there, but I always mean well. Until next time ... Do all the good you can... as often as you can... to as many as you can... Blessings
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