On a sunny spring day, birds are chipping away at the dawn of a new day. My feet nervously hit the floor for the pain that is about to hit like a Mack truck. It takes a few minutes to get used to my legs as I take my shower, get dressed for success for the day to come. I walk through my empty kitchen as I pick up the whirlwind of three tornados that had left minutes earlier. The dogs are disappointed in having to go into their crate, like every weekday - I assure them the boys will be home early. I murmur a prayer to God to get me through the day - I wouldn't have any IEP meetings, nor any meetings - not today, TODAY would be the day I become a hero.
I have been guiding young lads and ladies to go off to college to be their own success and also guiding individuals needing special educational plans to give everything their best for success. I love my job, dedicated to helping young adults merge into society as prospects for a great future - a future I am going to grow old in. However, today would be different, today I plan on being someones hero.
I have gone over this all in my head, day after day, and today has been planned; what seems all of my life - I drive the two hours and recite my speech from memory, but it won't be the same when there will be literally thousands of people, reporters, tv news crews, and then the gossip people, they call themselves a reporter - I know differently. They are going to make me look bad at every angle they can - it is their job and well, I have to do mine.
I have been on the road a long time, but the beautiful scents that spring is here, is a very freeing thought. My imagination is running wildly, that I miss a turn and I start to unravel just a bit. Then as fear seeps through me as I realize I am lost, then I see it - my worst nightmare is happening in front of me.
This is what needs to change, this is what I put my whole heart and soul into. I see a group of young kids surrounding a very scared boy. They are yelling at him, as the poor child is sobbing, then they lurch at him and laugh as he fell to the ground, and off in the distance is an adult it appears she sees what is going on, she will run over to the boy's aid and get these unruly kids into the school principal's office to face some sort of punishment. Now, the group of kids are taunting the boy and the adult turns her back and walks further away. I honk my horn to no avail. I have to go in - Just as I get out of the car, the kids all scatter, leaving behind a frightened boy with no self esteem. I try to get over to him and he sulks off and mixes with all the other students. Hurt that I wasn't the hero for that child, I stuff myself back into my car and I am more determined - to be someones hero.
The Press Conference is set to happen at Noon, I am so anxious my feet can barely stay in my shoes. The press secretary introduces the Governor and the Governor states the reason for the press release and announces my name. My whole life has come to this - this very nauseous moment - everyone MUST be able to see my heart pounding out of my chest as I stride carefully up the steps towards the podium. I was a nobody... until this very moment.
What??? I want the same things as everyone else - World Peace. Well, on a really small scale actually. You see, society has created this law that everyone is entitled to a free education. How many of you come to realize that the free education your children are entitled to is run like the survival of the fittest? Well, if you haven't given that a thought, think again. Kids are cruel and if you don't fit in - you will pecked to death, by insults, threats, pushing, shoving, teasing, etc. My goal of today is to get the ADULTS, parents, teachers, staff, etc. to recognize the pattern of bullying and take an active role in getting those students into programs and or special anger management schools. There would be rules for the adults as well. Any adult that turns a shoulder to any bullying, is grounds for dismissal of active teaching duties, until a proper investigation is done. The press conference goes very well, there is a plan in place, to protect all children. Child abuse is illegal, why would it be different if a peer was abusing a fellow peer - abuse is exactly abuse. It shouldn't have any prejudices, but it does. This is the legacy I want to lead - stop bullying, stop child abuse among same aged peers. What is illegal for one group, should be illegal across all the groups.
Well, this is what my dream my legacy I wish to leave behind, would look like - EVERY child getting a FREE and SAFE education; that is not survival of the fittest. God would want this for all of his children, I believe in it and I do have plans on finishing my masters and try to leave a legacy behind that would make it possible for me to be "Someone's Hero"
What would you want your legacy to be? what do you want to be remembered for? What kind of hero are you waiting for or inspiring to be?
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Monday, February 21, 2011
I choose you...a pay it forward post
Another fellow blogger posted about her adoption, because her friend has adopted children recently. As a fellow adoptee, I do feel that huge burden to give back. I mean we want to adopt the concept isn't a burden - but, there is something I have come to realize, that I may not have the capability to adopt.
***sigh**** *** tons of excuses**** *gasp*
Our plate is full, and what I brought into the world is paramount right now. My own biological children have so many needs. I know there are so many children with worse out there, and I so wish I could save the world. So, the force of paying it forward, leaves me hopeing for adopting a daughter, someday! (not that your NOT wonderful MH) I have three biological boys.
****sigh**** take a deep breath
National Adoption month is in November (I never knew that) - Obviously, I missed it BIG time. I never celebrated the event, in reality I was never much a party girl. I wasn't one to have a lavish celebration of any kind, except for my marriage to my best friend in the whole world and I got to share it with him. It seems like yesterday, but it was over 16 years ago. I have known this man for MORE than half my life.
They say you don't TOTALLY know or understand things until you yourself goes through it or become of age of understanding. It is so true, I believe and consider myself as a late bloomer everything takes time and I need time to think things through. I really had no concept of "adoption" all I understood, was I never had to see the MEAN people again. I believed this for a long time, maybe even beyond 10 years. I had been in and out of foster homes, all to return to hell. I had no concept of final, because I was always returned to the mean ones.
Adoption to me did NOT mean ... "I choose you..." to me it meant something completely different: Safety. No more meals slid under a door, no more being left outside during a storm, no more bandaids securing socks in my mouth, no more secret meetings with step-dad, etc. the list goes on and on. I don't want to leave you thinking I was stupid - Adoption just meant something entirely different to me based on my circumstances and abuse. I never felt special, in fact, I believed the total opposite - I felt like I was a curse. Someone's problem. I wish I could go back and re-live with what I know and understand now. It makes me want to "adopt" or choose my child out. Nobody biologically gets to choose who they want for a son, daughter, mother or father. It is happenstance, rather it is what God has planned for each and every one of us. You get what you are given and those rare few people get to choose.
***hmmmm*** (in deep thought)
I was taught after I was adopted, that EVERYTHING you do is a "I scratch your back you scratch my back" it is like a MANDATORY pay it forward. Just to put it out there, I never did anything I didn't want to do, because I expected something in return - I was taught that, but I feel if you want to do something - do it and do it without expectation. So, when I started this post, I mentioned I may not have the capability to adopt, this is what I am talking about. I do NOT want to adopt because, it is the right thing to do or to pay it forward since I was.
I want to adopt a child so they understand they were the choosen one, I want them to feel special, I want to celebrate their life, I want to celebrate them - it would be an added bonus if we were their hero (save them from a life of abuse) - who knows maybe if God places a child on us he or she would be my hero.
***sigh**** *** tons of excuses**** *gasp*
Our plate is full, and what I brought into the world is paramount right now. My own biological children have so many needs. I know there are so many children with worse out there, and I so wish I could save the world. So, the force of paying it forward, leaves me hopeing for adopting a daughter, someday! (not that your NOT wonderful MH) I have three biological boys.
****sigh**** take a deep breath
National Adoption month is in November (I never knew that) - Obviously, I missed it BIG time. I never celebrated the event, in reality I was never much a party girl. I wasn't one to have a lavish celebration of any kind, except for my marriage to my best friend in the whole world and I got to share it with him. It seems like yesterday, but it was over 16 years ago. I have known this man for MORE than half my life.
They say you don't TOTALLY know or understand things until you yourself goes through it or become of age of understanding. It is so true, I believe and consider myself as a late bloomer everything takes time and I need time to think things through. I really had no concept of "adoption" all I understood, was I never had to see the MEAN people again. I believed this for a long time, maybe even beyond 10 years. I had been in and out of foster homes, all to return to hell. I had no concept of final, because I was always returned to the mean ones.
Adoption to me did NOT mean ... "I choose you..." to me it meant something completely different: Safety. No more meals slid under a door, no more being left outside during a storm, no more bandaids securing socks in my mouth, no more secret meetings with step-dad, etc. the list goes on and on. I don't want to leave you thinking I was stupid - Adoption just meant something entirely different to me based on my circumstances and abuse. I never felt special, in fact, I believed the total opposite - I felt like I was a curse. Someone's problem. I wish I could go back and re-live with what I know and understand now. It makes me want to "adopt" or choose my child out. Nobody biologically gets to choose who they want for a son, daughter, mother or father. It is happenstance, rather it is what God has planned for each and every one of us. You get what you are given and those rare few people get to choose.
***hmmmm*** (in deep thought)
I was taught after I was adopted, that EVERYTHING you do is a "I scratch your back you scratch my back" it is like a MANDATORY pay it forward. Just to put it out there, I never did anything I didn't want to do, because I expected something in return - I was taught that, but I feel if you want to do something - do it and do it without expectation. So, when I started this post, I mentioned I may not have the capability to adopt, this is what I am talking about. I do NOT want to adopt because, it is the right thing to do or to pay it forward since I was.
I want to adopt a child so they understand they were the choosen one, I want them to feel special, I want to celebrate their life, I want to celebrate them - it would be an added bonus if we were their hero (save them from a life of abuse) - who knows maybe if God places a child on us he or she would be my hero.
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