My Blog List

Saturday, January 15, 2011

On account of abuse pt.#1 ***for those who question - why and how***

Yesterday was I guess a reflection day for me. I don't know what made me write that piece and I take nothing back, because I have never been so honest in my life as to how "I FEEL" or how "PEOPLE have MADE me feel." If I were to judge anything - it would be that today "PEOPLE don't feel that way about me," (just based on my private e-mail inbox, so thank you) but, the pain is so much more than skin deep. Are you ready? the plan is go into the depth of the abuse I remember, what is on file, and what I was told by my biological family. Small print ***this may not be a read for everyone*** there will be accounts of severe physical, emotional, and sexual abuse*** not for people who upset easily.

The year of the marriage was 1965, and oddly enough my adopted mother was born on June 12, which was the date of the marriage 6/12/1965. After suffering many miscarriages, my bio mom was placed on DES after finding out she was pregnant (with me) and unfortunately, I was born in 1968, SEVERAL months early. Obviously, I wouldn't remember the abuse, however, I was reunited with my birth father's side of the family several months before I married in 1994. I was told in a heart to heart discussion with my bio father that - "He didn't want to leave me with her (bio mom), but he felt it would be better to leave me than to keep reminding bio mom of the failed marriage." I guess being knocked unconscious, while I was eating was a good indication to leave me there with her! OK!!! Bio dad was told that she couldn't handle me (I was NOT even walking yet) and she wanted bio dad to sign his rights over. When bio dad, didn't the reports indicate I endured a great deal of neglect & physical abuse. Off to foster family 1. I don't remember, of course.

To be continued in "On account of abuse pt.#2.

No comments: