My current status is depressive as ONE can get without being hospitalized. My body is so jumping and I can't relax and oh, don't think to talk to me with those eyes, I may rip them out.
This all started when my 15 year old bi polar abusive son said some hurtful things. The next day he said something really cruel (which I wanted to knock his block off). Yesterday as I lie in bed, he became so verbally abusive to me - that for his own safety I remained in my room until Shawn got home.
Many of you may not know, but I was abused in every way possible and when I got married I had this awesome sense of freedom - marriage was my escapegoat of everything I had gone through. Shawn has always promised he would never harm me and I believe him. I was living this happy life with bumps in the road. Now I want to know where my goat is? Where can I escape too now that my son is abusing me.
I hate life. I feel lost, I feel so defeated, beat down and exhausted. I am so jumpy maybe I am anxious. I feel that I have already been through enough being abused, why do I have to endure more from my OWN son. I feel like I need to leave, but I love my husband - my kids hate me and never follow the rules.
I just can't handle anymore "your son did ...." "he got an.... on the test what happened?"
We have removed all video games during the school week - and I am planning to tell them summers only. These kids don't turn papers or reports on time. Addison hasn't turned in a term paper on time in 3 years.
If anyone can help find my goat leave your comment. Thank you. I am desperately seeking refuge if even for a few hours